This article first appeared in the Effective Evangelism column of the Christian Research Journal, volume 45, number 1 (2022).
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My father came and found me!” That’s one of the first things God restored to me when I became a Christian — a sense of being found by my true father. I was adopted, and becoming a Christian was like coming home. When it comes to sharing the gospel with those who are adopted, there’s not a one-size-fits-all approach because adoptions come in all shapes and sizes: domestic or international; through private or governmental agencies; babies or older children. While some adoptions are smooth sailing for all parties, there are some that are highly challenging, requiring a lifetime of service and commitment. As someone who was adopted as an infant, and now has met my biological family after 55 years, I want to offer practical suggestions on how to — and how not to — share the gospel with those who have experienced adoption.
Adoption is a God-centered summary of the whole salvific experience of God. The adoption process in both ancient and modern times is centered on the choice of the parent. Rather than be distracted by debates between Arminians and Calvinists, it’s necessary to note that according to all branches of historic, biblical Christianity, God the Father initiates salvation, and whosoever comes to Christ does so by His offer and invitation. Then there is the believer’s response: “For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved” (Rom. 10:10).1 Liberation through redemption, forgiveness of sin, justification by virtue of Christ’s work, new fellowship with God and His people, and, ultimately, through adoption, in union with Christ the Son, we become God’s children.2 In adoption, the multi-faceted saving work of God in Christ both culminates and continues for eternity (Eph. 1:11), as we now joyfully participate in His plan.
This is not a minor point. As J. I. Packer writes, “If you want to judge how well a person understands Christianity, find out how much he makes of the thought of being God’s child, and having God as his Father. If this is not the thought that prompts and controls his worship and prayers and his whole outlook on life, it means that he does not understand Christianity very well at all.”3 And that’s where unbelievers are — they do not understand Christianity very well at all. But within each person there is a story of redemption that God is telling. As He draws people to Himself, unless they resist, He brings them to a point of admitting that they are empty of answers, empty of hope, and in need of something this world could never give.
For some of those who have experienced human adoption, their story of redemption might be like mine — loving but flawed parents came and rescued me, after seven months in an adoption system. They rescued me, but as I look back, they hardly knew what to do with the sinful, strong-willed child they had taken in. It would take thirty years for my adopted father to become a Christian and apologize for how he treated me. We then enjoyed several years of the peace that the gospel brings until he passed away. I thank God for creating in me, through my challenging adoptive family, a yearning to know a Heavenly Father who was not angry with me but would take me into His family and make me a part of His incredible plan to grow His family exponentially (Eph. 1:5).
Not every adopted child processes the challenges of adoption the same way. All our stories carry with them great graces and mercies, but often tragedy just as profound. There is nothing in the universe that helps us understand our story more than understanding our story within God’s redemptive story — His story of adoption. We can and should draw attention to the adoptive work of God, especially as we share the good news with those who have experienced adoption.
Rescued by God. Some who have known the adoption process as a child experience it as rescue. Their story begins in a dire situation — into which God sends loving parents (and maybe even civil authorities) to liberate them. In His kindness, God promised a Rescuer, a Champion, who would deliver us from the clutches of sin (Gen. 3:15). God soon inaugurally fulfilled this great promise in the second book of the Bible, Exodus, in the story of Moses. God’s rescue of Moses from the evil Pharaoh and the wild Nile was through the grace of adoption (Exod. 2:1–8; Acts 7:1). Then through Moses, God rescues Israel out of slavery in Egypt, adopting Israel as His “firstborn son” (Exod. 4:22; Rom. 9:4).
In the New Testament, salvation always means rescue — rescue from the punishment for sin and from sin itself. Its power over believers is immediately diminished, and ultimately its very presence is removed from our lives (Rom. 7:21–25). These are the promises of the gospel — that in the past, present, and future, Jesus rescues us, giving us His “Spirit of adoption” as sons and daughters (Rom. 8:1–17), delivering us safely to the Father, and to our Father’s house (John 14:2). This theme of rescue and adoption can help those who are seeking God see that God has a plan to rescue them from their sin.
Acceptance and Rejection. Others who are adopted see it as the beginning of a cycle of acceptance and rejection. When you perceive that your birth parents separated from you — even abandoned you — this can lead to deeply embedded feelings of rejection. But what if the adoptive parents are struggling themselves? Finances, infertility, special needs, and a plethora of complex factors can create a chaotic home life that leads children to look outside the home for acceptance in peer relationships, romantic and otherwise. By college, many have become accustomed to this cycle of acceptance and rejection, with stories abounding of parents and children in adoptive families separating in their late teens.
How does God’s redemptive story help a person like this to understand their need of Him? As God’s rescuing promises from Genesis 3 continue to roll through the rest of Scripture, we see God saving people who were rejected. Those rejected like Joseph in Genesis 37, but who surrendered themselves to God’s mercies, found God able to end that cycle and bring them to a place of stability. David looked back over the story of redemption that had brought him from being a rejected youngest brother to king of Israel, writing in Psalm 27:10, “For my father and my mother have forsaken me, but the LORD will take me in.”
Orphan Mindset. Some children in foster care or orphanages are plagued by questions like “If God loves me, why am I an orphan?” When introduced to prospective parents, they think, “If you love me, why don’t you adopt me?” Post-orphanage behaviors are variously clinically classified with labels like reactive attachment disorder.
Those struggling with deep psychological and physical scars from long-term orphanage and foster care placement need compassion and patience, often for their entire lives. They will not be simply “fixed” by a fresh application of the gospel to their hearts. Yet there is nothing in the universe more satisfying than knowing that the story of every believer in Christ is a movement from separation to sonship. “When the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons. And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, ‘Abba! Father!’ So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God” (Gal. 4:4–7). “For in Christ Jesus you are all sons of God, through faith” (Gal. 3:26). Institutionalized children, with their unique challenges, will discover in God’s providence that they have a new place — the church, an institution created by God to house free sons and daughters of God, who may flourish in its walls and find more fathers and mothers and brothers and sisters than they ever dreamed. The church rejoices to give them a place at the table of the Lord.
I believe God has given us an opportunity to bring the good news to unbelievers and encourage believers who are adopted. They have experienced something that gives them insight into the deepest graces of the gospel. However, a warning is also necessary. Adoption can create a fertile place for opposition to the gospel, too. Numerous studies have documented psychological themes in adoptive children, such as:
Rejection. Adopted children may struggle with feelings of abandonment.
Loss and grief. They may miss a family that they never knew and may struggle to articulate why this empty space is a significant part of their emotional life.
Identity. Our earliest questions about identity (“Who am I?”) are often answered by our place in our family. But what if my biological family is different in genetics from my adoptive family? Who does that make me?
In each case, it may be tempting to over-simplify our response to these deeply emotional issues, leaving the adopted person feeling like a fool for continuing to experience them, often into adulthood. Rather than offering the gospel as the one-stop solution for eliminating negative emotions that may accompany adoption, make certain you present a compassionate, loving Savior to them. They know they are judged and unworthy and abandoned — but they often do not know they are loved. Remain focused on Jesus’ welcome into His new family, the church. He is offering them to become “adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will — to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves” (Eph. 1:5–6). —Robert Barnes
Robert Barnes is an author, pastor, and manager of Redemption Bookstore in Richmond, Virginia.
NOTES
- All Scripture quotations taken from the ESV.
- Fred Zaspel, “Salvation: An Overview,” The Gospel Coalition, n.d., https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/essay/salvation-an-overview/.
- J. I. Packer, Knowing God (Downers Grove, IL: IVP, 1973), 201
